I want to quit.
I wanted to quit my first marriage shortly after I was married. But I didn’t. I had taken vows before God. If only he would change a little then we would be ok. Or if only I could change a little, or learn to accept some things, we would be ok. If only he would read the books on marriage I was reading, we would be ok. If only he would take the advice the counselor was giving, we’d be ok. And maybe I would never find anyone else. And maybe I wouldn’t make it with out him. Leaving might make other think less of me. So I kept trying, I didn’t quit. But then HE ended it, suddenly, cruelly, brutally. Turns out it was one of the best things that ever happened to me. Even my kids tell me they were RELEIVED when it was all over. So why hadn’t I given up sooner? Why did I let him be the one to quit?
I have wanted to quit jobs before. But I don’t because….maybe I wouldn’t find another one. Or maybe the new one wouldn’t be as good as this one. Or maybe my co workers would be mad at me. Or maybe I would look back and regret the decision. Maybe I would find out I had made a huge mistake.
And we are not supposed to be quitters. Don’t we hear that as kids? ” No one likes a quitter”. Why not?
When is it ok to quit? Yes, smoking will kill you, so at least there is a good reason to quit. The guy hits you. Easy to understand why you should “quit” the relationship. You are the only one in the company that didn’t get a bonus. Maybe that’s the hint that you should quit. But what if the only reason to quit something is that you are tired of it, or bored? When and how do you decide to quit?
I read an article recently that asserts that maybe we all need more practice at quitting. What does that mean??? I pray about “quitting”. I dream about quitting. I threaten to quit all the time. I find reason, after reason to quit, and yet I can’t bring myself to do it. Something has to FORCE me to quit, or I won’t.
That same article suggests that trying not to quit actually helps you to quit. You know, like New Year’s Resolutions. If you, each January, vow to quit eating too much, only to fail in few weeks or even a few days, QUIT vowing to quit and it makes it easier. Oh pulllease.
What keeps me from quitting? What is the worst that could happen? I will be unhappy? But I am unhappy now.
So, this story has no great ending. I want your thoughts, your suggestions, your philosophy on when it is ok to just quit.
